Morning's Light Part 2

[Authors Note]-this is just a smattering of sentences I have in mind to use for the full piece. I must have stared for a good long while trying to put them together and fill them in with an artistic fashion. For some reason the words won't work for me today, so its better to just get them out rather then forget. I can edit them later, when the inspiration strikes.The bracketed comments beside the sentences show what my thoughts are as I'm writing, and what my plans are to form the words into a piece. I'm going to have to make a second part to this so you can see how it transforms into something I want to send out.  The fragments are pasted without commentary for your perusal. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Piece with commentary:
They wiped the road from their faces and stared in wonder at the place.
The diner stood in a cloud of dust. [I like this as it is. quite satisfied having it stand alone, like the diner]
Inside were mismatched plates and faces, but the coffee was hot. [the rhythm of this sentence is off, going to have to find another phrase to even it out]
She leaned over it all and whispered to him with the fire in her eyes
Lets do everything we should have done. Lets throw our fears in their faces. [noticing that I have used face too much, going to have to find another word]
He leads her to the kitchen and against the steel and stone they press each other close.
The pie juices run freely down their thighs. [more exposition is required, the reader will be very confused . . . perhaps the piece should be more surreal from the beginning?]

In the thickness of the dark her arm coils around his heart . They both lie awake, unknown to one another. The arm begins to shake with silent sobs. He does not stir. [there's a breach in time here that will need to be filled ]

In the later years of life they will fear they have tread on shallow waters. 

Piece without commentary

They wiped the road from their faces and stared in wonder at the place.

The diner stood in a cloud of dust.

Inside were mismatched plates and faces, but the coffee was hot. 

She leaned over it all and whispered to him with the fire in her eyes

Lets do everything we should have done. Lets throw our fears in their faces. 

He leads her to the kitchen and against the steel and stone they press each other close. 

The pie juices run freely down their thighs.

In the thickness of the dark her arm coils around his heart . They both lie awake, unknown to one another. The arm begins to shake with silent sobs. He does not stir. 

In the later years of life they will fear they have tread on shallow waters.